Will Meinen | The Tattler
LOS ANGELES — Weekend two of the progressive music and arts festival Coachella had several memorable moments. The Black Keys’ memorial to The Band’s Levon Helm was poignant. What had the Empire Polo Club abuzz, however, was the prospect of seeing hologram Tupac perform with Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg. Instead of the dead rapper joining the two legends on “Hail Mary,” a hologram of Dwight D. Eisenhower delivered lines from his famous Military Industrial Complex speech.
“You all ready for this shit?” Dr. Dre asked the sun drenched youth of southern California. “Yeah that’s right, back from the grave to drop some knowledge on ya— I like Ike!”
The figure of the 34th President crackled to life, standing at attention. The World War II general began to stalk the stage in a khaki military uniform, his right hand gripping the mic like Bob Dole holding a pencil.
“Together we must learn how to compose differences, not with arms, but with intellect and decent purpose,” declared Eisenhower.
“Yeah. For shizzle,” agreed Snoop.
“As we peer into society’s future, we — you and I, and our government — must avoid the impulse to live only for today, plundering, for our own ease and convenience, the precious resources of tomorrow.”
“You hearing this shit,” yelled Dre as he nodded his head.
Hologram Eisenhower removed his shirt to reveal an impressive torso for a 71-year-old politician. ‘Military Life’ was tattooed across his pale, soft belly. Hologram Eisenhower went on to trade lines with the 90’s rap icons to the confusion of the mostly early 20’s crowd.
As the former President disappeared from the stage, a college student wearing neon-colored sunglasses was overheard explaining to a friend that he was pretty sure the hologram was of Jack Nicholson from “A Few Good Men.”
You can’t handle the truth, Coachella.