Will Meinen | The Tattler
OMAHA, Neb. — The National Organization for Women (NOW) has organized a boycott this holiday season of the classic duet “Baby It’s Cold Outside.” The song, penned by Frank Loesser in 1936, has been recorded by famous vocal pairings ranging from Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Jordan, to Robert Palmer and Carnie Wilson.
The song’s theme is a classic cat and mouse game, with the cat plying his catch with alcohol in hopes of fucking it. NOW Director of Operations, Susan Tischner, has encouraged her fellow activists concerned with women’s issues to join in boycotting the song’s playback in malls, banks, coffee shops, and on Christmas satellite radio stations.
“The song is the perfect example of a man not taking ‘no’ for an answer,” said Tischner. “I mean, the female protagonist gives several good reasons for leaving: the worsening weather, her sister’s peace of mind, her reputation, and the man counters each with a meteorological fear campaign and offers of more laced, hot-spiced wine. It’s pathetic when you think about it.”
Several high profile women’s rights organizations have followed NOW’s lead and joined the boycott, including the National Partnerships for Women and Families, and the National Sexual Violence Resource Center.
“We stand by all women,” said Director of Programming at the Resource Center, “in their attempts to stave off the advances of men who think that we would sleep with them if it weren’t for our prudishness and religious principles. We really do have to get up early tomorrow for work.”
When asked by men across the country what would be an appropriate approach to asking a woman to stay over without being pushy, NOW referred men to the lyrics of Bob Dylan’s “If You Gotta Go, Go Now.”
Included below are a sample of the lyrics to “Baby It’s Cold Outside” so that you may decide for yourself: Christmas classic or blueprint for date rape.
I really can’t stay (Baby, it’s cold outside)
I’ve got to go ‘way (Baby, it’s cold outside)
The evening has been (I’ve been hopin’ that you’d drop in)
So very nice (I’ll hold your hand, they’re just like ice)
My mother will start to worry (Hey beautiful, what’s your hurry)
And father will be pacing the floor (Listen to that fireplace roar)
So really, I’d better scurry (Beautiful, please don’t hurry)
Well, maybe just a half a drink more (Put some music on while I pour)
The neighbors might think (Baby, it’s bad out there)
Say, what’s in this drink (No cabs to be had out there)
I wish I knew how (Your eyes are like starlight now)
To break this spell (I’ll take your hat, your hair looks swell)
I oughtta say no, no, no sir (You mind if I move in closer)
At least I’m gonna say that I tried (And what’s the sense in hurting my pride)
I really can’t stay (Oh baby, don’t hold out)
Oh, but it’s cold outside